Royal Lessons
by Alex Ryzlin Gold
Summary: Ruby wants to surprise Regina on their wedding day by knowing all about how to be a 'proper' wife to a Queen, and Kathryn is more than happy to teach her. But why in the world are their so many forks? Established RedQueen.


**Disclaimer:** I do not own OUAT.

Ruby thumped her head against the dinner table and then raised and slammed her head back down just for good measure. She looked up when Kathryn giggled daintily at her from behind her hand. Ruby raised her eyes to her and glared. Damn Kathryn being so _dainty_ and _proper_ like she was born royalty. Ruby ignored the part of her brain that pointed out that Kathryn _had_ been born royal, or at least Princess Abigail had been. Instead she listen to the part of her brain that was offended by the fact that one of her friends was laughing at her for thinking the meat fork was the salad fork. Or had she thought the dessert fork was the fish fork? No, she was pretty sure it had something to do with the salad fork because Ruby tended to remember about dessert related things. Why did royalty need so may forks anyway? Her forehead met the table once more.

They had been squirreled away for most of the day with Kathryn trying her hardest to teach Ruby as much as she could about anything and everything royal. Titles and proper ways of addressing nobles, taboo topics of conversation (all conversations around eating former boyfriends had been benched even though Ruby and Kathryn's mutual young love tragedies had been the beginning of their friendship), which dances she would be expected to know and who had ruled which bits of land back in the Enchanted Forest and how that equated into power and wealth. The hardest thing though, had proven to be the sheer amount of forks Kathryn had set up on her dining table. For whatever reason Ruby could just not get her head around needing to eat with more than one knife and fork and it was seriously affecting her ability to learn about silverware placement and usage.

Kathryn stood and moved around the table until she was standing behind Ruby. She gently patted the top of her head before placing her hands on top of Ruby's. She moved Ruby's hands onto the outer most pair of cutlery and waited for her to lift her head.

"Remember to go from the outside in, even if the meal plan isn't exactly proper the layout of the silverware will always follow the meal plan. Appetizers first, if they are served. Often they aren't as a salad or fish will take the place of an appetizer."

Kathryn moved Ruby's hands to the next pair of silverware. "If an appetizer is served you can expect a long meal. In this case, after the appetizer we have fish. Don't put any fish into your mouth unless you're sure there are no bones. It's rude to spit food out."

Kathryn gave Ruby's hands a squeeze before moving to the next pair. "Unless it's poisoned. In which case spit it out. At that point you're probably going to kill someone so spitting out their food isn't so rude in comparison."

"I'd have thought that in comparison spitting out food isn't as rude as poisoning your guest." Ruby said while rolling her eyes.

"Ah, but you've made the mistake of judging your actions based off of another person's actions. It's not what _they _do that's important. It's what you do. The only person whose example you should be following is Regina." Kathryn tapped the gold engagement band on Ruby's ring finger. "You're considered one person now, after all. Anyway, back to what I was saying. This is the salad set and next to that is the main set for the main meal. Up the top we have the fork and spoon for - "

"Dessert." Ruby interrupted with pride.

"You would remember that one."

"Hey!"

"I'm just stating facts. Now, once you've used a piece of silverware it goes?"

"On the plate, not the table. And I put them together on the plate once I've finished eating or with the tips touching in the centre of the plate if I'm not finished eating. Knife and fork do not swap hands and fork tines always point down at the table. I'm not a complete slob, Kathryn. I have got _some_ Princess skills."

Kathryn sat back down on the other side of the tables. "I'm not sure if they're considered _princess_ skills, exactly."

"Yeah, I know. All royalty knows about it."

"No, I mean you're not a princess Ruby."

"I know I don't have royal blood, but Regina said something gaining a title through marriage. She didn't really explain it."

"Probably because it's a little complicated. Upon Leopold's death Regina became the Queen Dowager, but she claimed the throne for herself, making her the Queen Regent. Because she is the Queen Regent and you are a woman marrying her you gain her title. So technically, Ruby you're not a Princess because you're a Queen. Or at least you will be once you're actually married."

Ruby frowned a bit. There were five different types of forks. Why did it surprise her that there wasn't just one type of Queen? "So why is David a Prince?"

"Prince Consort, actually. I suspect that had to do with George disowning him and leaving him without any sort of title."

"I don't get it."

"David married Snow when he had no claim to any kingdom. George had disowned him, and now we know he wasn't ever actually royalty. When he married Snow the highest rank available to him was Prince Consort as he had no claim to kingship aside from Snow. Much like Fredrick will still only be a Prince when I succeed my father, assuming we still hold onto titles at that point. Chances are we will. I've yet to meet a royal who has been willing to completely disregard their title."

"But I'm like David and Fredrick. I don't have any royal blood in me at all, let alone a claim to be king."

"I should certainly hope not, otherwise you've been hiding something and frankly I wouldn't believe you could hide anything under those short skirts."

"Kathryn!"

"You are a woman, and a woman always takes her spouse's title."

"Shit. I'm going to be a Queen."

"Yes you are. You'll even outrank me once you're married. Try not to let all the power go your head."

Ruby thumped her head against the table again and groaned. "All I wanted was to surprise Regina and show her that I wasn't a peasant at our wedding and now you've gone and tossed this at me."

"Sorry, but it is a fact of the world. We royals keep track of the titles we hand out. Now, speaking of impressing Regina, elbows and arms do not touch the tables. Heads, I'm afraid are also out of the question so up you get."

"You're a slave driver."

"No dear, I'm a Princess. Now hurry up. I have to boss you around while I still outrank you."


End file.
